The title of this entry may lead you to expect some kind of terrible story involving America's most popular brand of latex prophylactic. Fortunately you will find no such thing. I do not know why the Trojan Project was so named.


Goble Tavern. Goble, OR.

I had begun to think I would just get a burger and run, but as soon as I found the place, I knew I would spend the night. Goble is not a town. There is a little white sign on a post by the railroad that says "GOBLE". Visible there is one house, one mobile home park, and one tavern. In 1966 a reporter described the place as "a hamlet which has been fading slowly from Oregon's memory for almost a half century, but which still hopes to recapture its brawling vitality of yore." The crowd at Goble Tavern seems content to keep it this way, partying on in eternal denouement.

In quick succession I committed two faux pas. First, I presented a California drivers license for entrance to an Oregon bar. I winced. Fortunately the bouncer did not make a scene. Second, I asked if this was the way to the "backyard." I should have said "beer garden."


"Beer Garden" at Goble Tavern.

This was—and I do not apply this appellation lightly—the most hilarious thing ever, and in the best possible way. Songs were sung to the rythmn of fiddles, banjos, spoons, and saws. Songs were sung about three-eyed fish. This was, after all, about the huge Nucular Plant of Monty Burns fame, the real life version. Someone walking by raised a fist in the air, gestured vaguely northward, and cried, "Tomorrow that curs'ed tower will be gone!" Many of those present had worked in the plant during its tortured operation. One woman handed out scrubs, explaining, "We have to wear these every day!" I eagerly donned a pair. I was quickly befriended by a couple from San Francisco who asked me about Burning Man and shared their beer with me like we were old friends. Some guests had driven up from Portland or from further away, but by far most of the attendees were definitively local.

Riana arrived, with a boy, a dog, and some kids they'd found at a party on the way from Portland.

I slept in the car. Taking a cue from Ryan and Lisza, I slept through that portal between the truck and the back seat of my rental car. Accomodations were sufficient. In the morning I wandered down to the beach. This involved the evading of police officers.

I overheard in passing, "What they don't realize is that controlled demolition has become a spectator sport."


Beach of the Columbia.

Gathered on the beach were a few other spectators. Two guys wore gas masks and hard hats, for hilarity purposes. Someone commented wryly that we were among few who intentionally put themselves downwind of an impending nuclear plant explosion.

The river was full of police boats with flashing lights, enforcing the security perimeter.



At 7 AM the implosion commenced. First we saw this. About seven seconds later we heard the kabooms. Then the rain of dust began.

I took a video. There are many videos.


Self portrait with nuclear scrubs and fallout-filtering bandana.

After the implosion, everybody wandered back to the bar. It was just after 7 AM and the Goble Tavern was open for business, serving buscuits and gravy.


Trojan Nuclear Project. Evening prior to demolition.

You can really hit the ground running when you're flying West on the earliest flight of the day.

Read more... )

a joke

Mar. 11th, 2004 12:22 pm

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks. The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people: "What are these guys in the big suits doing?" One of the astronauts said that they were practicing for a trip to the moon. When his son relayed this comment, the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give to the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon. Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, "Why certainly!" and told an underling to get a tape recorder. The Navajo elder's comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said. The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate. So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder's message to the moon. Finally, an official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing, the translator relayed the message: "Watch out for these assholes - they have come to steal your land."

Top three confidence-inspiring things I've heard at work

3. "You can ignore that sign that says `Industrial Water! Do Not Drink'" (as the speaker filled up the coffee maker)

2. "I'm just going to prop this door open a little bit.. we want the concentration of oxygen to remain, you know, more or less constant." (says someone who was just fiddling with the liquid nitrogen feed to some equipment and was then wandering off to do something else)

1. "Radiation never hurt anybody." (at CERN)
Last night I was all set to post a rant concerning the blatant misandry going on here, to the effect of that that's one thing I certainly won't miss when I move out of here (i.e. loud conversations to the effect of `(straight) or (male) implies (frat boy),' with every possible negative stereotype attached)... but then other parties brought me their (surplus) hot chocolate and chocolate fondue, and I felt better.
E Clampus Vitus?? Hurrah, hurray! Tradition and pranks at UC Berkeley? Who would'f thought?

It's an amusing article, even in spite of the Chronicle's chronicly mediocre reporting that leaves many important details unwritten (is the fluorescent paint still there? -- that would be a dead giveaway, but I doubt it would have escaped notice all these years.) I remember learning of those plates (as a hoax) in Anthropology 10AC. Anyway. E Clampus Vitus -- it renews my hope for this campus. A google search reveals many gems (ancient proverb).

``How ironic that a day reserved for the celebration of love (with compliments paid to sisters, infatuation, and lust) is also the source of such singlehood sadness, dating disasters, and marital mischief. Lest any of you have fallen victim to a lover's lascivious lures or enjoyed excruciating experiences, take refuge now in the romantic tale of our dear topologist, Monsieur Topologie, a story not about the other side of Fortune's coin but rather the same side of Cupid's Möbius, with his arrow slung in the opposite direction. ...''

Continue reading this tale (the best written Math 53 homework assignment I've yet seen) written by Matthew J. Rodriguez

Okay, here's my top-3 list of language textbook titles.. would be interested to hear if anyone has any other amusing/ironic titles to add.

3. How Swede It Is
2. From Start to Finnish

And the grand-prize winner...

1. Navajo made easier

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